The Car Movie
by aballofblueyarn
Summary: This is basically the conversation that happened when my grandparents watched Cars with me and my sister.
1. Cars

**Here's the story. My grandparents decided to be adventurous and watch Cars (Which they called "The car movie" with me and my sister. They had plenty of funny (and even somewhat strange) comments to add in. **

**This isn't exactly a fan fiction, just a fun story about a real-life event, I guess you could say. I'm just trying to pass some time here, okay? :P Anyway, enjoy reading.**

* * *

><p>*movie starts*<p>

Lightning: Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed. I. A-

Grandpa: Hey, the TV's not working!

*cars zoom by*

Grandpa: Oh. Never mind.

* * *

><p>Lightning: Breakfast. Maybe I should have had breakfast.<p>

Grandma: He didn't eat? O.O

Me: Shhhh!

* * *

><p>*Lightning sticks out tongue, Mia &amp; Tia go nuts*<p>

Grandpa: o_O Reminds me of a football game I was at once...

* * *

><p>*Lightning's first tire blows out*<p>

Grandma: Oh no!

Grandpa: Why didn't he change his tires?

Me: Because he doesn't like having help...

Grandpa: Well, if you don't have help, then stuff's going to happen!

*second tire blows out*

Grandpa: Like that!

* * *

><p>Kori: we're here in Victory Lane awaiting the race results. McQueen-<p>

Grandpa: Hey! That's that car on the DVD cover, right?

Me: No!

Grandma: This is a strange place for a boyfriend to meet a girlfriend.

Me: She's not his girlfriend! She's a news reporter!

Grandma: Well, that doesn't make any sense!

* * *

><p>Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first in in Pi-<p>

Grandma: Oh, yay! He won!

Grandpa: No, he didn't!

Grandma: Then why did he just jump on to the stage screaming 'Yes!"?

*hears announcement about the tiebreaker race*

Grandma:...Never mind.

* * *

><p>Harv: Is this Lightning McQueen, the world's fastest racing machine?"<p>

Grandpa: Is he talking to a radio?

Me: Nooo!

Grandma: And what kind of parents would name their kid Lightning?

Sister: *trying to end the conversation* _His_ parents, obviously!

* * *

><p>Lightning: Right! Friends! Yes, there's um...<p>

Grandma: Wait, does this mean that he doesn't have any friends?

Me: Mmmhmm.

Grandpa: Wat about his semi truck friend?

Me: Because, since he's taking Lightning to the race, he's obviously going to be there already!

Grandma: Why doesn't he invite his mom?

Me: I don't know!... She was probably on vacation .

Grandma: Ohhhh.

* * *

><p>*DHR show up*<p>

Grandpa: What's that?

Me: The Delinquent Road Hazards!

Grandpa: Why are they neon?

Me: So they can look cool!

Grandma: Oh, I see. Cool!...Hahaha! That's cool what I just said. Hey, I said it again!

Grandpa: *totally confused look*

* * *

><p>Lightning: The Interstate! *drives away, revealing the Route 66 sign*<p>

Grandpa: What kind of a movie is this? That's a sign for Route 66!

Me: Grandpa, he's supposed to go down Route 66.

Grandpa: Then why did he just yell "The Interstate!"?

Me: He thought Route 66 was the interstate!

Grandpa: Really? Boy, someone needs to send him back to school.

* * *

><p>*Lightning sees Cozy Cones, runs away screaming*<p>

Grandma; Those are some big caution cones...

Me: Actually, that's a hotel.

Grandma: That is one strange hotel...

* * *

><p>*Lightning tears up the road while dragging Stanley behind him*<p>

Grandma: Wow, that car he's dragging with him isn't doing anything! If I were that car I'd be screaming!

Me: That's a statue.

* * *

><p>Sheriff: May Doc have mercy on your soul.<p>

*Doc enters, talks, Lightning gulps.

Grandma: Ooooh, is he the villain of the story?

Sister: *almost spits out drink from laughter*

Me: Ahaha. No.

* * *

><p>Lightning: All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you.<p>

Grandpa: Boy, if I ever did something like that, I'd be kicked out of that courtroom in an instant!

Grandma: That's probably what he was trying to do...

* * *

><p>Mater: Well, a little bit, but I'll be all right!<p>

Grandma: Hahahaha! This Mater car reminds me of your grandpa.

Grandpa: No it doesn't!

* * *

><p>Doc: Then if I were you, I'd quit yappin' and start workin'!<p>

Grandpa: Yeah! You tell him!

*Mater struggles with the parking boot*

*Lightning runs off*

Grandpa:...Well, that didn't work.

* * *

><p>*Doc's Piston Cup comes into view*<p>

Grandpa: He has a Piston Cup?

Lightning: He has a Piston Cup?

* * *

><p>Doc: I knew you couldn't drive. I didn't know you couldn't read.<p>

Grandpa: Hey, how did he know that?

Me: How did he know what?

Grandpa: That he couldn't read!

Me:...When did he say he couldn't read?

Grandpa: Well, he obviously didn't read that Route 66 road sign correctly.

* * *

><p>Sally: Did you mean it?<p>

Lightning: What?

Sally: That you'll get him a ride?

Grandpa: Hey, why is she asking him all these questions?

Me: Because she doesn't totally trust him yet.

Grandpa: Why not?

Me: Well...Because he's a jerk.

Grandpa: Ohhhh! I see.

* * *

><p>Lightning: Hey, thank you.<p>

Grandma: Awww, he's becoming so sweet now. :)

Grandpa: *eye roll*

* * *

><p>Sally: Hey, Stickers, you comin' or what?<p>

Lightning: *hesitates but chooses Sally*

Grandma: Awwww. :)

* * *

><p>Grandpa's face during pretty much the whole drive sequence: X(<p>

* * *

><p>*Sh-Boom starts playing*<p>

Grandpa: Wow, this Lightning guy's amazing! He fixes a town, and he gets his own song!

The rest of us: o_O Huh?

Me: His own song? What do you mean?

Grandpa: Can't you hear the words? They're singing "Lightning McQueen, Lightning McQueen! Do do do do do Ka-Boom!" Or something like that.

Sister: Heh. Hehehe. *starts laughing*

Grandpa: What's so funny?

Sister: *stops* Sorry, Grandpa, but that's just WRONG. *continues*

Me: They're singing "Life could be a dream!" Not "Lightning McQueen!"

Grandpa: Well, how was I supposed to know that?

* * *

><p>Sally: No. It was much more than that.<p>

Grandma: Hey, is Lightning going to cry? :D

Me: Well...Almost.

Grandma: Awww. That would have been so sweet!

Grandpa: *sigh*

* * *

><p>*Lightning leaves town*<p>

Grandma: Oh, no! Mater! He didn't get to say goodbye!

Mater: I didn't get to say goodbye to him.

* * *

><p>*Doc looks at the broken street light*<p>

Grandpa: Yeah, you tell him!

Grandma: But the light's not saying anything!

Grandpa: ...Yeah, you show him!

* * *

><p>*RS team shows up at the race*<p>

Grandma: :D They came! They're so sweet.

*Lightning comes in*

Grandma: Where's his girlfriend? D:

Me: She stayed behind.

Grandma: That's too bad. I remember when Grandpa took me to a car race. It was so fun!

Grandpa: Well, it wouldn't be fun for them. He's gone half the time on the track while she's sitting in the pits! And when he's there he only stays for 10 seconds!

Grandma:...You know, that's a good point you got there.

* * *

><p>*Sally, near tears, watches from the TV as Lightning pushes The King across the finish line*<p>

Grandma: She's gonna cry! :D

Grandpa: Blah. I hate sobby romance movies. :(

Me: But this isn't a sobby romance movie!

* * *

><p>Sally: Well, I create feelings in other that they themselves don't understand, blah, blah, blah-<p>

Grandma: OOH, they're going to kiss! :D

Grandpa: *eye roll*

Mater: McQueen and Sally, parked beneath a tree!

Grandpa: Where did that helicopter come from!

Me: Don't you remember? It's the helicopter Lightning promised him!

Grandpa: Oh, so he wasn't kidding about the helicopter! But I thought you said that he was a jerk! *looks at me weird*

Me: But he changed!

Grandpa: Oh. I must have not noticed.

Grandma: How could you have not noticed that?

* * *

><p>Grandma: Well, that was a fun movie!<p>

Grandpa: Yeah.

Grandma: Now, I'll go get some ice cream. *turns to grandpa* Come help me.

Grandpa: All right. *leaves room*

(Silence)

Sister: Hey.

Me: What?

Sister: *starts laughing* We are SO doing this with Cars 2.

Me: Oh my goodness, YESSS! *high five*

* * *

><p><strong>Well, there you go! :P I hope you had fun reading. I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts. <strong>

**-E**


	2. Cars 2

**I have returned! With Part 2 of these adventures. :) I wasn't planning to do this, but enough people requested it, I decided that it would probably be funny, so I talked my sister into taking me to visit, and thus we have the finished product here:**

* * *

><p>*on the way*<p>

Sister: Why are we going to Grandma & Grandpa's again?

Me: Because we have Cars 2 now!

Sister, Ohhhh, I get it. *exaggerated fake evil laugh*

* * *

><p>Me: Hey, Grandpa! Remember the car movie we watched a while ago?"<p>

Grandpa: Of course I do. The one about the racecar and his girlfriend and the dusty little town?

Me: Uh... yeah... Anyway, we're going to watch the sequel tonight!"

Grandma: There's another one!

Sister: Yeah, and it's a creepy spy movie!

Grandpa: Really? COOL.

* * *

><p>*at the beginning of the movie*<p>

Grandpa: Why are they in the middle of the ocean?

Me: They need to find out the plan of the evil guys!

Grandpa: Why are the evil guys planning things in the middle of the ocean?

Me: Because they're being secret!

Grandpa: Oh. Like a surprise party! Got it.

* * *

><p>*car falls off oil rig platform &amp; dies*<p>

Grandpa: Wait... did that car just... die?

Me: Well...yes.

Grandpa: I didn't know cars died!

* * *

><p>Mater; Tow Mater! That's who is here to help you. hey, Otis!<p>

Grandma: Who's Otis?

Grandpa: Probably some cousin or brother of his.

Grandma: Oh, okay.

Me & sister: ?

* * *

><p>Otis: ...4th Piston Cup! Wow!<p>

Grandma: 4Piston Cups? I thought the Piston cup was an annual race!

ME; It is!

Grandpa: But we just watched the first movie a couple months ago!

Sister: *facepalm*

Me: Umm... the first movie came out in 2006.

Grandpa: Wow, I'm slow!

* * *

><p>*Mater &amp; McQueen having fun together*<p>

Grandpa: WOW. That is one big tractor thing. In the human world, I'm guessing that's equal to...the world's biggest cow!

* * *

><p>*Mel Dorado show*<p>

Grandma: I think I knew a Mel Dorado once!

Grandpa: Oh, yeah, him. He was weird.

* * *

><p>*at Japan party*<p>

Mater: How about that free pistachio ice cream?

Grandma: I had pistachio ice cream once. It was pretty good!

Me: That's wasabi.

Grandma: They make wasabi ice cream? I should try some!

Grandpa: You do know what wasabi is, don't you?

Grandma...Oh, yeah. Never mind.

* * *

><p>*bathroom is unveiled*<p>

Grandpa: What is THAT?

Me: A bathroom.

A bathroom?

Me: Yeah. It's Japanese!

Grandpa: Why would you want a television screen in your bathroom?

To... warn you of upcoming spray things?

*spray thing sprays Mater*

Spray things? Looks more like a broken toilet to me.

* * *

><p>*Rod Redline dies*<p>

Grandpa: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did that car just explode?

Me: Yes.

Grandpa: How did that do that?.

Me: With the evil TV camera!

Grandpa: TV cameras can do that?

Me: Well, that one can, since it's a special one.

Sister: And an evil one.

* * *

><p>*Darrell: And McQueen's Mentor, the Hudson Hornet, was one of the best dirt racers of all time!"*<p>

Grandpa: Hey, I remember that Hudson guy!

...

Wait, I haven't seen him yet! Where is he? In the pits?

Sister : He's dead.

Grandpa...Really?

Sister: Yep. At least, I think so.

Grandpa: Wow... that's cruel.

* * *

><p>*Mater &amp; McQueen fight*<p>

Grandpa: I thought they were friends!

Me: They are!

Grandpa: But they're fighting!

Me (being silly) *puts on fake Italian accent* It's okay to fight. Everybody fights now and then. Especially best friends!"

Grandpa: Wow, that's actually a pretty wise statement! SInce when did you become a wise saying person?

Grandma: And when did you get that accent?

Me: Oh. Ummm... After I watched this movie.

Grandparents: *confused look*

* * *

><p>-Finn: Mater, we're not here to go shopping.<p>

Mater: Why would I think that we're...

*sees shopping place"-

Grandma: I'd like to shop there!

Grandpa: But It's an auto shop store.

Grandma: Oh, in that case, I guess not. But girls, I bet your dad would like shopping there!

Grandpa: Of course he would, girls. Your dad gets excited whenever he sees a Hotwheels car.

Sister: *thinks* You know, you're actually right about that one.

(Our dad's a car nut)

* * *

><p>*Siddely appears*<p>

Grandpa: Wow, planes can talk, too?

Me: Yeah!

Grandpa: Well, what's next? Talking skateboards?

* * *

><p>*Topolino scene*<p>

Topolino: It's okay to fight. Everybody fights now and then. Especially best friends.

Grandpa: Where have I heard that quote before? *thinks about it*

Sister: *Starts laughing*

Me: That was me!

Grandpa: Wow, how did you know he would say that? :O

Me: Umm.. I've seen this movie before.

Grandpa: Oh, you shouldn't tease me like that! You're just trying to confuse me.

* * *

><p>*Mater's dream*<p>

Grandma: Why is Mater floating?

Grandpa: He's a spy now. I think spies have some floating gadget somewhere in their bodies.

Grandma: Oh! Okay. That also explains why he's going back in time.

Sister: *tries not to laugh*

Me: Guys... he's dreaming.

Grandpa: Well, now I feel kinda stupid! Thanks for ruining the day!

* * *

><p>*Holley appears in plane form*<p>

Grandpa: Wait, so she's a plane now?

Me: Nooooo! She just has wings in case of an emergency.

Grandma: Wow! What a great spy! A plane being able to disguise herself as a car!

Me: She's not a plane! D:

* * *

><p>Mater: Queen, McQueen, McQueen, Queen. McMissile, McQueen, McQueen, McMissile!<p>

Grandma: I am so lost.

* * *

>*after movie's end*<p><p>

Grandma:Well, that movie was certainly... interesting!

Grandma: The best part was when they went to Japan!

Grandpa: * sighs and leaves room*

...

*comes back and looks at me & my sister*

There's not a third one, is there?

Sister: No, there's not. At least, not YET. ;)

Grandpa: *eye roll* You girls have strange hobbies.

* * *

><p><strong>So there you have it! ;) Ah, my grandparents are funny to be around. But you should have seen my sister and I on the way home! Boy, we made a bunch of jokes about all the other movies they would probably make funny commentary on, and then we were laughing like crazy for the next half hour, Hehehe. :P<strong>

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!**

**-E**


End file.
